Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth. But, uhh, kids are very weary of being lured, these days. Thank you Dateline.

Random Ruminations

-A significant portion of my time here in Jamaica has been spent feeling like a big floating dollar sign. Not to get into a discussion about race, but bums will let 15 Jamaicans walk by and only ask me for change. Grrrr to you bum. I also feel this way a bit at work too.

-I recently watched the NOVA special entitled the ‘Elegant Universe.’ I encourage anyone who has not seen this 3 part series to do so. WOW, the implications of string theory have exploded small holes in my brane (I realize this is not the correct spelling of the intended brain, but it is a barely humorous pun that you will get after viewing the show). I suppose there are not really any blown holes in my brain in this universe, but despite the minute probability it is probably happening somewhere. Holy balls Batman! That means my head is in severe peril somewhere else!

-The teaching of small children is incredibly difficult, especially when it comes to teaching computer literacy. Patience is not a virtue that I possess in abundance. Thus when I try to tutor my young wards I grow increasingly frustrated by my feeble explanations and their lack of understanding. I suppose that the great paucity in reading skills causes a rift in my lesson execution. “Okay kids every one left click on the ‘Games’ folder.” I had two frustrating replies to this seemingly simple command. 1) Which one is left? 2) There is no folder marked ‘Games.’ But what makes this enterprise even more difficult is the fact that my lack of patience is dwarfed by that of my pupils. Rather than opening a file/the Internet/a program and waiting for it to open, they click over and over and over and over and… well you get the idea. And since our computers are fairly slow, this fun game overloads the computers and they freeze up. To fix this problem they usually unplug the computer and restart. Wow, writing all of this down makes me realize I have a billion miles to travel before I bridge the gap of understanding. It’s all about the journey though... right?

-For some strange reason since I have come to Jamaica fire seems to follow me. I joined an organization that had recently had two of its buildings burn down. I stayed in the Pegasus Hotel in Kingston. This hotel now has a new lobby since the other was charred beyond repair during my visit. And most recently one of the main buildings on the property of my apartment is now smoldering following a fire that claimed 2 of its 3 stories. I don’t think I have some sort ‘firebug’ curse upon me, but I am still looking for a place to stay during my next visit home.

-Today my goal is to buy a ceramic coffee mug. I have been using a plastic cup… the kind that when it heats up dumps carcinogens into my java. Damn you cancer-inducing plastic!!

-Back to the firebuggery… Why when things are on fire here in Jamaica do machetes appear out of know where? When the Pegasus was on fire, a guy was hacking at a doorknob with his machete. Really dude? What the hell? And when the building near my apartment caught fire, some dude is on the roof hacking shingles with his cutlass. This bring two concerns to my mind 1) Where do they keep their machetes when things are not on fire? Machetes seemingly appear from thin air; maybe they have surgically inserted sheaths in their legs. 2) What exactly is the utility of hacking things during a fire (especially the doorknob)?

- Rather than giving confrontational bums money I am now giving a business card that reads:
GOD LOVES YOU
EZEKIEL 23:19-20
This has significantly cut down on bum harassment, thank God.

-I made dinner the other night. I asked Erin what she wanted to eat and all she wanted was a toasted PB & Honey sandwich. Today I am making Ham and Beans. Soak beans overnight, (next day)put beans in pot, cover with water, put ham hock on top of beans, cook on low for 4 hours. I cannot believe this what has become of my culinary expertise. Oh how I miss the days where I would carry a butane torch in my truck so I could make crème brûlée anytime, anywhere.

People are strange, when you're a stranger...Patrick