Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end... computers are trying to murder you in a lake

Modern conveniences. Bah! Who needs ‘em? Not us. Do you know how I made my coffee this morning? If you guessed coffee maker deduct 15 points from your current score. If you guessed that I dumped boiling water over coffee grounds and strained it through a paper towel lined wire colander, give yourself 15. I realize being in Jamaica that I am extremely lucky to have access to the modern conveniences that I do. Really the only thing keeping me having a microwave, coffee maker, and a clock radio is money. I also realize that by signing up for PC that I was essentially signing up for poverty. Having such rigid budget restrictions has taught me a lot about my spending habits. It also reinforces the lesson about only spending money you have. Ain’t no credit cards here folks. It makes you think pretty hard about buying that 6-pack of Red Stripe when you know that if I buy this now I won’t have enough money to pay for fresh produce in a week or two.

My brain produces some of the most bizarre dreams. I choose not to share most of these. With my dreams as evidence, my lunacy would be undoubtedly proven. Despite these reservations I am going to share with you my most recent dream mostly because it runs a bit more humorous and a bit less crazy. I have a dream…

In my dream I was Barack Obama’s son. I still looked like me and had my same mannerisms so I must have been an adopted son or something. Anyway he encouraged me to campaign heavily for him and I enthusiastically did so. My active role in his campaign allowed me to rub elbows with the US elite and I had a fantastic time sarcastically mocking the other candidates. But when the time came to vote in November, I felt the pull of my political philosophy and voted for the Libertarian candidate. I returned to campaign headquarters and watched the results reported by the major networks. Papa Obama, obviously nervous, was pacing around as some states went red and others pulled blue. Abruptly he stopped his pacing and pulled me aside and asked me if I voted for him. I was completely honest and said that despite being his son and thinking the world of the man that I did not believe in his politics and voted Libertarian. He then proceeded to beat me, like literal biblical smack down.

To bring this blog entry full circle, the modern convenience that I would love to do without is 24-freakin’-hour-a-day coverage of the GD election. It is obviously invading my mind. The ceaseless reporting of the political race, combined with my extreme nocturnal boredom, is most assuredly the root of my baby-Bama drama. I would gladly exchange CNN, CNN Headline news, FOX news, MSNBC, even BBC America for a washing machine. Hell, I would exchange those soulless media channels for a French press. Mmmmm, coffee that doesn’t faintly taste of Bounty paper towels.